This is a fun little 'pet-project' of a schoolgirl where she goes on to vent her feelings, thoughts and views, write, and babble on about nonesense that goes about her usual life.
If you've found this blog, then chances are great that you know me. I'm just a regular asian schoolgirl, and there's nothing out of the ordinary with me. But alongside that, I am a violinist, an artist, a model, a travel enthusiast, and a web designer. I love many things such as: my culture, foreign languages, books, stuffed animals, the rain, and animals. In the same breath, I dislike a few things. These few would consist of: homework, cold weather, milk, heights and crowded beaches. I also have my share of hopes and dreams alongside everyone else.
Tagboard here, i reckon cbox.
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Wednesday, July 28, 201012:39 AM
this and that
fact: i don't know what to say.
let's start with this. let us cross some t's and dot some i's. hear me loud, and hear me well. you're disgusting. need i say more? okay. well. here i go. i can't believe you. i can't believe that in one of those few and rare moments in which i decide to confide in you, all you seem to care about is how delicious food is. thanks. how absolutely wondrous of you. remind me this. remind me this. remind me, that i should never ever even bother confiding in you, or seek solace or any which means from you. because. it's obvious that you don't care. and quite honestly, you have not and will never care. to be honest, it doesn't bother me anymore.
you never understood anyway.
there you are, wrapped up in the confines of your own world. have you ever opened your eyes to look about the world around you? no. absolutely not. your eyes are trapped beneath a thick veil of moonshine and dull stardust. live in your fantasy. it's safe there. you'll never be hurt.
you're absolutely ridiculous. i can't stand the sight of you. i can't believe i'm associated with you in any which way. i cannot wait for the day in which our ties are severed. i don't need you. you don't need me. our connection is only an accident.
look at yourself.
in all's honesty, you rue the day i came into your life. you use me as a terrible excuse to justify the things you do. you always put others before me. this is insanity. i'm supposed to be one of the first. but in reality, i'm one of the last. maybe. maybe this is why i hate you so.
but hate is a powerful word.
some days, i feel it is not strong enough to describe my animosity towards you. someday, i'll be gone. and you will miss me. someday, you'll be gone. and then. only then, i might miss you.
don't hold your breath.
i don't know how you can treat me this way. i mean really. i've done so much for you. i've given you everything. and yet. what is it that you give me in return? nothing. nothing but senseless teasing and harassment. i don't see why. i've only always treated you well. so what is it that your abuse is justified?
i pity you. i really do. but it's all your fault. all your fault. if you hadn't left for so long, he wouldn't have realized that he doesn't need you. you were always complaining and going on and on about how you needed us, and how we needed you. but then, you up and left for a few weeks time, and expect us to be right here with our arms open for you. but oh, are you wrong. i do wish for your return. but he does not. and he's the one that is most important to you. but go on. be happy. live your life, and start anew. and now you're returning in due time. oh. why did you leave? it was such a foolish decision. such a foolish decision you know. he will welcome you back for a few days, and shed you like old skin. he's found someone else to replace you. i'm sorry.
if you had not left, things would not be like so.
i just wish it didn't have to end this way.
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Friday, July 9, 201012:28 AM
fact: i am a failure.
i close my eyes. my mind slows. it slows down to the rate that would not be considered functional for any other job. (the idea of simply breathing is tiring in and of itself.) i am alive only one out of every four seconds. i register only fifteen minutes of every hour. i see myself awaking and i die. i see myself, spine curled into impossible angles and the soft scent of printed ink filling the air, and i die. i see myself falling towards the ceiling, and i die. i see myself swallowed whole by down and drowning in mattress springs, and i die. i see myself lost in the silver surface of a silent mirror, and i die.
i was your love. i was your hope. i was your rain.
i am tangible. i am inadequate. i am obsolete. i am deficiency. i am decay.
i will disappear. i will vanish. i will drown.’