It has been a while hasn't it? Well, there's not much to say. There's summer school work, work, and studying. My life is redundant and that is all that is really new. I sit on the computer the whole day buying random crap that I don't need. Today, I bought some shimmer sticks from Taiwan, and a cute pencil case for school. Yesterday, I lurked on a website and preordered a new CD and bought some earrings. The day before that, I bought a bottle of 'Seven days of love' pills. They're little plastic capsules that you write love notes inside. And the day before that, I bought an agenda and some gifts for my friends. And the day before that, I bought a cute hat. In recent days, I am madly in love with Kwon Jiyong. I never liked him before, but when I heard the teaser to his new solo CD, I had to buy it. I think it's also because he looks super hot with bleached blond hair.

Oh, well a few things have happened. I took the practice SAT, and I scored a 2210 out of 2400, which is downright amazing. I was expecting a 500 just for putting my name down. I competed in my first pageant, and I am now Miss Photogenic for my state, and qualified to go to Nationals in Hollywood. I've decided that I also want to become a linguist, and to be considered a linguist, one must know at least 5 languages. So I began to take Chinese. I'm not sure what my last language will be since Chinese is already my fourth. So maybe my summer hasn't been that unproductive. All I have yet to do is finish my AP History work, and I am done fo the rest of the summer, even though there is less than 15 days left. So I guess up until now my summer has been great.

Now I am melancholy, and everything that has happened the whole summer up to now doesn't mean much to me at all anymore. It all just seems like a dream.

For the past few days, my mother has been bed-ridden in the hospital because of pneumonia. But the doctors fear that she may have tuberculosis and are running tests day after day. My mother says she is fine, and doesn't show any symptoms for the disease. They have this fear because it is a big disease in East Asia where my family comes from, but my mother hasn't been there in years, and had just recently had a TB test. The worry is brought on by the medication for her cataracts. I'm very very stressed. Tuberculosis is a very serious and potentially fatal condition.

But to be honest, if the side effects were so potentially bad, why would you give a patient such a medication? The matter greatly upsets me. It just makes me angry that such 'doctors' at this hospital could be so immorally void, and stupid. I mean, common sense much? In recent days, I have lost all faith in these people. I hate them for their idiocy. I swear, when I become a doctor, I will never be like them. I especially hate that specific hospital with a burning passion.

I'm greatly worried about my mother. I pray that nothing is wrong with her. I don't know what I would do without her. I can't just have my father. I just can't. He's just so disappointing as a parent. He could never be like my mother. I feel so extremely stressed about the matter, and I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel helpless, and my personality has gone stolid and apathetic.

My stress problems have gotten much worse over the past few weeks. During check in at the pageant, I found out that they had lost one of my forms, and of course I freaked out for a few minutes, and passed out right there. And then I was basically 'on watch'. My parents would later go on to scold me because such a thing could 'kill me'.

The stress is making me sick, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm hoping and praying that my mom will return home soon and in good health.