Fact: I like to run, but I never find the time to

"I picked both feet up off the ground as if I was doing it because I had no other choice, jerking forward like a highly strung marionette. I just wanted to feel happiness, and it seemed to come from within the ground and the empty feeling within my lungs these days. I slept last night with thoughts of only you converging within my head. Your eyes send me into submission; I run faster. Don't ever say goodbye to me. Although deep inside I know you'll have to, I hide it from myself each day just so I can get by without my heart decaying into an unheard pile of black. I need you to live, and I realize now that you don't know it. I understand that you never will. So I run to you in my dreams. I breathe in your perfect scent and daydream of melting in your arms. Even when I'm no longer around you, I can feel your presence astound me. When you touch me I get weak, and when you leave I wish I could just turn around and say, "COME BACK!" But I know that will never happen. "

I figured I would write since I've been procrastinating on everything, and since I've recently been 'inspired'. I jotted the idea down in English is my new 'writing' notebook that I thought was pretty when I went to Staples. I had an urge to buy it and bought it because it was cute, and I like notebooks :]

I was perfectly content when I wrote it, but now that I read it, it just depresses me.

But I guess it's not a huge deal. It's 12:30 in the morning, and my sister is waking me up at 5:30 tomorrow so she can do my makeup since she thinks I would look much prettier her way. I don't know, we'll have to see.

I'm glad we speak more often now. I've missed you. I always see you online, but I never have a legitimate reason to say hello, and spark up a conversation. But I guess I finally over came that. I have so much to say, and so much to ask you. How are you doing? What's new? The usual you know? I miss our late night conversations and our random discussions about what instrument you should learn next.

Lol, it's so late, and you still don't know how to say good night.

Fact: Carpe Diem

To be honest, I was never really a follower of the phrase, but over the past few days, I think I've become more accustomed to it? I can't really explain in english, but you kind get the point right?

If you personally know me, I was upset this morning. First there was that feeling like someone had shoved a whisk into my stomach and hit 'puree', because I felt so mortified. Then, that went away and I was just left feeling sad. I forgot about it during first period. But then it came back. Then it went away again, and then came back. I was pretty upset about it, but not enough to cry. Maybe to tear up for a second, but then it had gone away as quickly as it came. I wanted to be angry and spiteful, I was, and then I got over it.

I went after school to the old folks home to volunteer as I always do every Tuesday, and spent my time with the elderly. I tried to put it past me, and used it as a conversation starter. They all laughed, and they teased me. And then when I went home, I went on the computer and just listened to the same song I listen to everyday now. And then I stopped caring.

I guess it didn't mean so much to me as I had thought you know?

I actually look forward to going to school tomorrow, and pretending like nothing happened. It's so weird right?

Then my parents gave me the news that I'm going to be 'studying abroad' next summer, to make it up for the fact that they screwed my chances at Yale this summer. If I don't get another offer, then I'll be on a plane headed to my 'homeland' of Vietnam, Taiwan, and Hong Kong for two months. I have to say I'm excited, but I'm going to try to not get my hopes up since my parents will probably ruin that too XD. I'll be there visiting family, doing immense amounts of shopping, and going to school. To be honest, I'd rather go to school here in America where it's easy, and I don't have to wear unattractive uniforms with my name stitched in.

So I'm excited and nervous since I can't navigate an airport by myself.

I should do homework now :]

Fact: It's been a long time hasn't it?

I haven't written in what seems like a million years, so I guess I'll give you guys a quick overview of what's going on in my life. :]

I've been pretty happy lately. I think I've fallen back into my little obsession thing. You know, where I get obsessed about this one thing for a little while and then completely forget about it later; like the fashion designer stage, the little bo peep hair curls, the imeem stage, and the B4u stage.

I'm currently obsessed with Leetuk, a Korean boy band member (pictured in above icon). Sad isn't it? It took me forever to find out his name becuase his band has 13 members, and they all look the same. XD One of the band members is the asian verison of Chuck Bass! I have an uncle that is the asian verison of Leo DiCaprio! But he's not a stunner if you get what I mean.

I recently got my hair cut again, and I'm kinda thinking about growing it long again. I don't really even know why. People tell me I look older with my short hair, and that slightly bothers me you know? I got a new puppy, and her name is Lucy. Well, that's what I call her since my sisters gave it an ugly name. She's quite the adorable thing, and desires so much attention, our other dog feels neglected. I even got up at 6 this morning to give her a bottle of milk. (just like a baby!)

I'm going out with one of my friends tonight, and I decided to be lazy this morning and not put on make up! That means I gotta rush to Kmart and grab some cheap stuff lol.