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한국어: 미안해요 华语: 白日做梦 This is a fun little 'pet-project' of a schoolgirl where she goes on to vent her feelings, thoughts and views, write, and babble on about nonesense that goes about her usual life. |
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Wednesday, December 31, 20082:52 PM
3, 2, 1 ![]() The fact that 2008 is coming to a close hasn't phased me yet and I'll probably keep writing 2008 on all my papers. The year was enjoyable, but everything seems to be going by quickly now a days. Like as if yesterday we just started school. I hate the feeling that I'll be a grade higher next year. It makes me feel old, and it gives me the sense that I have little time left. Last night I had a very creepy dream. Lately, they've been more vivid and more memorable. So it started off where I was at my old home, in my parents' bathroom. I was just hanging out with my friends until I looked in the mirror. A white film had developed over my right eye, like what happens when people go blind. My eye was a faint green underneath, and large red veins were crossing over my eye, as they bled down my face. It was quite horrific. And I touched the film, like trying to move it away, but it just slipped back into place. I turned to ask the people who I was with if they saw anything wrong, but they said I was perfectly fine. Later after they had left I stared into the mirror, and I saw that I had green eyes, and my right eye had a pale film over it again, but this time with no viens. My right eye had no pupil, and eventually as I stared long enough, a tiny one started to appear, and then it grew larger and larger until it covered the entire iris, and then it disappeared again, and my eyes became green, with a blotch of brown swirling in from the right corner. I didn't wake up screaming or anything, but it was quite horrifying. Maybe I should not eat taffy before I go to bed. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Monday, December 29, 20082:54 PM
im at my grandma's ![]() So, I'm stuck at my grandmother's and this morning, I felt the need to over-indulge on the breakfast. Which was not a good idea. So I'm supposed to be studying for midterms, but I'm sitting in front of the computer and typing this and coaching my cousin through Super Smash Brothers Brawl instead. I finished my geometry, which wasn't too hard. All I have left to do is all my other subjects. The only midterms I'm actually worrying about are Chem, Math, and Spanish. But I think that's it. I feel pretty stable with the rest of the classes. I'm really just typing random words becuase this is a really comfy feelinh keyboard, lol. I don't know, but I like the little feeling where when you press down the key, it's soft and takes a moment to sink in. Maybe I'm just weird. Yesterday I had a psychotic dream, which even the friend I told thought was weird. So, I'm stuck here til New Years. But it's not so bad. It's a little loud with all teh kids, but it's nice. Kicking my cousin's but at video games is good, I remember when we were little he would cry whenever he lost. Now he just screams. Yesterday we went to the mall and I bought the first seaon of Pushing Daisies! It was the last one left, and it took quite a while of searching at FYE, but I eventually found it. I had to give up 3 manga books to buy it though because I was trying to be very concious with the money I was spending. You probably all know that last year teh screen to my Vios malfunctioned and broke, and my sister loaned m her screen. She's been pretty touchy about it and has been spending more time on the computer than sleeping, and she sleeps a lot note this. So As soon as she gets home, she's on the computer. She eats in front of the computer, and she won't let you on until around 1 or 2 in the morning, which isn't too great for me since I have homework. And when she doesn let me on, it's for only 15 minute intervals. So for Christmas my uncle and aunt are buying me a nice new extra wide screen. I didn't ask for it, but it's nice of them. Usually, they just give me money, but a screen is always nice :] I hope all of your Holidays went well. And Happy Kwanaza for all of you who celebrate it. new Years is coming up, and I'm kind of excited to see the ball drop on tv, since I wont be standing for hours in Times Square to watch it drop. I always watch it on tv with my family anyway. And the next day I go on ebay to see how much the panels on the ball are being sold for. All the money goes to charity by the way, lol. When I was younger, I never knew what everyone was talking about when they talked about the ball dropping in NY. I always thought it was where they dropped this super large bouncy ball from a helicopter. But I guess I was wrong. Did you know there's a Vietnam Top Model? It actually takes place in California. My mom told me about it, and my grandmother is watching it right now. Well, I guess that's enough rambling for now. I'll see you soon. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Thursday, December 25, 20088:25 PM
merry christmas ![]() To start it off, I hope everyone is having a happy and safe holiday. I hope you got a change to gorge yourself on amazing food, and are know slipping into food comas XD. So I finally got a chance to go see Twilight today. I guess I've been dying to go. I went into the theater apprehensive becuase some had told me it was complete trash, and others told me it was one of the best films they had ever seen. Thearter 9 was basically empty but my family and I, and a few random people. These two very large girls climbed over seats instead of using the stairs, and I thought I heard a seat crack. I'll say I was more mesmerized by the small blip of Tom Felton/Draco Malfoy in the previews for the new Harry Potter film than Edward Cullen himself. Overall I thought the movie was good, I guess. I really liked the way they shot it with all the hues and colors. I was upset when I realized Jasper only had two lines. He's my favorite. Rosalie I pictured to be much taller, and prettier. Alice, I saw shorter, with black hair. And Emmett, I thought looked really good [since I was never able to picture him]. Carlisle looked very hot [lol], and Esme was alright. I always pictured them living in a nice stone mansion rather than a more modern home. They did a wonderful job casting the other three vampires [James, Laurent, and Victoria]. I burst out laughing quite loudly during the 'romantic' scenes, and I guess I disturbed the very few people in there greatly. It was just really cheesy to me, and plus especially during that makeout scene in her room since my dad was the one that was sitting next to me. I had to hold my sides together especially at the end when Bella was thrashing on the floor because she was in pain and 'changing' in the ballet studio. Kristen Bell just looked so funny it was hilarious. There were also the few technical things that bugged me. Whenever there were closeup shots of Robert Pattison, you could clearly see the eyeliner that they penciled in underneath his lids. You could see where they stopped with the 'pale' makeup on his face because right where the name of the neck was there was this clearly defined line of flesh tones. [This was so for most of the vampires] For thet first half of the movie Bella's right eyebrow was insanely higher than her left. [I noticed her face was always kinda lopsided] And they placed the scar of Edward's bite from Carlisle completely on the wrong side of his head. [You can see that in the flashback, Carlisle bites the left, but during the prom scene you see it on the right]. And in the scene with the 'meadow' where Edward sparkles, you could see they missed a chunk on his chest. Maybe I'm overanalyzing everything, but I went in expecting this movie to be 'absolutely freaking amazing' since everyone was raving about it. Maybe I set my expectations too high. With the recent controversy with Taylor Lautner losing his role in New Moon to some other 'more buff guy', I thought he was an okay Jacob. It would've been nice without the wig, since that was kinda odd, but he was okay. I kept picturing that Lava Girl would pop up out of nowhere and they'd go on some magical adventure in the land of dreams. Well, I guess this is what I get for reading the book before watching the movie. I just hate how now that this movie has come out, people are going about how much they love Twilight and how they are super fangirls/guys about it. It's just become a fad, and you know, that kinda bugs me. But I guess that's just how things happen. I gotta admit, I'm excited for the New Moon. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Friday, December 19, 20089:13 PM
people anger me ![]() I haven't been angry like this in a while. But I was looking up something, and I decided to go on Youtube as I always do, and on my subscribed list, there was a new video from a comedian. So, I was watching it and found it pretty humourous, but then as I always do, I looked down into the comments, and some douche bag wrote this: "Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USABest AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN FUCK USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USA Best AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN nuke USABest AMERICAN is a dead AMERICAN FUCK USA " I can't even go on to tell you how angry this made me feel. First of all, I found it was childish for them to post it on a Philipino's video. Second, they don't understand us, and probably know nothing of us. And third, it was just plain ignorant. I don't know the nationality of who posted the comment, nor do I really care. But still, I have much patriotism and loyalty to my country and the country of my heritage. I show racism to no one, and nor do I use racial profiling. Sure Al Queda killed thousands of people in 9/11, but I'm not running around screaming, "Let's nuke the Muslims" because they did nothing. The radical fundementalists did it. When I see a person of African American descent I don't think, "oh, look at that person; they're probably some low-life ghetto scum that is in a gang". I was raised better than that. Seterotyping and being close-minded aren't the best of things. Sure you don't like Bush or someone else in America, but the people of this country have never done wrong to you. In our history we have never 'nuked' anyone just for the hell of nuking someone. Yes, the US has dropped an atomic bomb over Hiroshima, but it was for a reason. I absolutely hate people that nuking a country is just 'fun'. If you do believe this, then you probably have no morals. I remember this kid in our class where when our teacher asked him why we were in a war, he answered the question simply with a 'why not?'. When asked about nuking people he stated again the same response. And on a seperate occasion, he went on to say 'why don't we just nuke them and get it over with?'. I'm just so agitated. ---- TOP OF PAGE
9:49 AM
happy few days before christmas ![]() I knew that it was myself. Really, I was starting to type it, and then I realized I had homework to do so I rushed to close it. Hence, making it sound pretty pointless. If you know me from that AIM profile site, which I shall not mention, I am announcing that I may be returning with a new story. Why? Every single day I go on that site to see if anything worth while is up, an there is never anything good. I'm not going to use the word 'trashy', but most of the stuff seems untasteful. I haven't read many yet, so I can't judge, but I mean really? They're always the same stories. Girl falls for guy, guy breaks her heart by doing something stupid, she gets back at him in a rash way. I know I'm not an amazing writer. (Especially compared to one of my friends; you know who you are ;] ) But at least what I write had 'quality'? I don't know if that's the right word. But you get me point don't you? I don't even know what to write yet. Lately I feel inspired by those around me. I don't know how to explain it, but I can't really say much other than simply that they inspire me. They mean a lot to me and I wouldn't know where I'd be without them. I'm not going to be a suck-up here, but they're amazing people, each with their own talents and specialties. Lol, I think it's the Christmas season dawing on me. :] I have to thank everyone who gave me a gift, they're very much appreciated! And I'm glad you took the time to think of me ♥ And still, I'm really sorry for dropping your gift Kevin! I still feel bad! I was talking with a few of my guy friends recently, and we talked about video games. You know the usual thing. And then one of my friends spoke of how he wanted to work for Square-Enix when we got older, and it struck me. Only a few years ago I had the dream of becoming a video game designer. I remember it was so important to me. But then eventually I lost that passion. I don't know how it happened, but it kind of upsets me now to think that I had so much belief in myself in that one career. I wanted to be that so bad. Which led me on to think of all the careers I had such a drive to become, such as a fashion designer, a comic book artist. There were only three, but I remember they were so important to me during those times. I guess time changed me over time. I don't know, the matter just upsets me. I think over the past year I've changed. It's not much, but I feel I have more confidence. I cut my hair, I started to wear some makeup, I stopped biting my nails, and such and such etc. etc. I feel like I've become a more optimistic/happy person. I can't remember a time since we started this school year where I have been trully/really upset. I've found myself not so stressed about much anymore. I tink I've calmed down. Lol, I rant too much! ---- TOP OF PAGE
Tuesday, December 16, 20088:46 PM
chasing cars on our own ![]() 'I Hate This Part' is now the latest song that's forced its way into my memory. But I have to say that I really like it; it's on the the playlist so maybe you're listening to it as you read this. It's been a while since I had last written, but I don't know exactly what to write. I'm brimming with excitement since my fashion show is tomorrow. I know my parents will be there, but I was kinda hoping that there'd be a few of my friends there too, but there won't be because it's oh so convientently placed on a Wednesday night. I don't think anything different has happened in the past while that is of much importance really. School work and that stuff you know? I'm excited for Christmas break! But really, who isn't? Wow, I'm such a boring person... ---- TOP OF PAGE
Friday, December 5, 20086:33 PM
in an alternate universe ![]() I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I might as well. Nothing new has been going on, everything's basically the same. Christmas is coming up, and I'm extremely excited. Tomorrow I have to miss the birthday party of one of my closest friends because I have to make up a class, which is quite upsetting on my part. But I'll make it up to her. After that, I'm heading straight to visit my grandmother, and Sunday I'll be in New York City. I seriously don't know what to get everybody for Christmas, so I'll probably be Christmas shopping for a while since I can never make up my mind. I have a lot of homework so I have to get that done on the way there too, which is a downer. So, lately I've been having these psycho-crazy dreams. And last night I had an odd one which drove me to write the only scene that I thought was relatively normal. Surprising right? I'm usually not really that inspired to write anything. The dream was just so crazy. Henry the Octopus from the Wiggles was in there, Kristen Stewart, and Oprah were there too which I found just creepy. But I'll let you read what I have. It's basically bs since I'm not a good writer, but you know, I was bored in Geometry so I thought I might as well. She woke this morning with your name on the tip of her tongue. She hesitated for a moment, debating internally whether to spit it out and savor it. Your name sat too long on her tongue and became bitter. Disgusted, she spat it out and onto the white carpet. It remained as a black opaque stain for a matter of seconds before it disappeared, creating a miniscule ash stain. She got up and went about her day. Why has she awoken to the thought of you? She didn't know. She hadn't dreamed of you. She never did... Lol, the person this is happening to was Kristen Stewart :] ---- |
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