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한국어: 미안해요 华语: 白日做梦 This is a fun little 'pet-project' of a schoolgirl where she goes on to vent her feelings, thoughts and views, write, and babble on about nonesense that goes about her usual life. |
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Saturday, August 30, 200810:36 AM
New News ![]() Fact: I have new news for all of you So, what was I gonna say? I don't remember. Oh yeah, the new stuff in my life. Well, the state fair's coming up. You know, the one with all the bazaar stuff, cows, pigs, smells like animal? Well, I'm going to submit art for their art barn. You guys have seen my art XD. Lol, it's mostly going to be more pencil works since I haven't had much time to do anything else. One of my dad's client's Renee turned me onto it because she usually submits large canvases of her work. Oh, there was something else! And it was good too. Oh, yeah, I'm still working on that writing contest submission. I'm still thinking about how to end it though, I mean, should there be a tragic ending, or a willy nilly happy one? That is the question. Really, i'm not too confident that I'll do amazing or even get an honorable mention, but it'd be amazing since I never really win much. What's your opinion? Tragic or happy? Did you ever notice that most of my stories always end tragically? And it's always the girl that dies. For some reason I find some sick enjoyment out of making the guy miserable. Heh, I don't know that's just me. Cynical, sadistic, shall I go on? It's always like "Bam, she's dead. Now you realize your life is miserable without her!" I just ruined your life dude! I don't know why I do it, maybe it'd be nice to think that someone would care about me so much like that. Tonight were leaving to Philly, New York and NJ! I'm so freaking excited. I mean, I love the city so much, I definately feel like I belong there, But I know I belong in a town like mine. Urgh, frustrating, I don't know where I want! XD But I definately can't wait to get to the city and waste a lot of money on new clothes. Yeah, like every girl in the world and a few choice men, I love to go shopping. Lately it's been more of clothes since I'm really into fashion. Lol, here everyone thinks Abercrombie/AE/and Hollister is 'high fashion'. I'm jumping up and down in my chair even though I'm sick. ---- TOP OF PAGE
9:45 AM
Sickness ![]() Fact: I don't feel good As the title says, I'm sick today. You know, the usual feeling where something eating away at your chest/stomach. Last night while my sisters and I were watching Prom Night, I had to keep getting up to find something to take. Of all things, my industrial size bottle of Motrin wasn't there. My mother had bought it for me on my med trip, and you know, economy is always cheaper. XD So I laid awake til two in the morning watching the special features to random movies that I had in my room. Eventually I got on the computer, and then, I fell asleep. This morning I was upset and in a rage because my mother forced me to get up and go to the gym. The day before we had gone for strength training, and besides cardio bores the crap out of me and isn't needed. But she made us go anyway. Bleh. And then I started feeling sick, so I took it easy. And of course, I get stuck at work. XP I mean, I had like one day off, and it wasn't even a full day, it was like 3 hours because Cindy wanted to go out with her friends. God, I hate this place more and more everyday, and even during the school year the jerks making me come in on Saturdays. God, if you're gonna make me waste my High School career at a stupid salon at least don't force me to wake up early to go to church. Gah. My tummy still hurts. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Friday, August 29, 20085:33 PM
Dumber than you look ![]() Yesterday I went out with one of my closest friends to go see a movie. We'd been trying to get together for a while, and after some last minute calls, we were able to hang out. We had gone to see Get Smart. Yes, I'm very well aware that this movie has been out for forever. But you know, I don't get a chance to get out much. So we picked her up and headed down to our local movie thearter.Our movie theater is pretty dilapidated and worn out, and movies there are only four bucks a pop, but you know, it’s just nice to spend the weekend with your friends without heading out to the city. We got there about twenty minutes late, but there it’s so small that the movies are always about a quarter of an hour late. When my mom and I were heading back from work and going by the place, there was a group of kids outside. Naturally I knew who they were because we’ve all been going to school with each other since kindergarten, but they were incoming freshmen. So we were watching the movie, you know our usual small comments back and forth to each other, and the kids were so annoying. They were shouting, sweating, getting up and running around. The worst kind of people you wanna be with. But you know, they were the wannabe gangsters/scenes/and emos. There was this one kids I knew, and he wore bright res skinny jeans that definitely didn’t suit him. I mean, he needed to drop an elephant size before he should ever wear those again. Eventually, this woman sitting a few rows behind them got up. I had thought she just got up and moved, but then only about a minute later the owner came and kicked them out. Begrudgingly and with dirty mouths, they left. But that didn’t stop them from hanging outside. Yeah, I can say that the girls were sluts in training. No, they weren’t dressed the part. They were just dipshits. Yes it’s harsh, but they made themselves to be who they are today. They just stared when I came out. Hpmh, yeah, I’m and upperclassmen, I’m gonna make your worthless lives a living hell since I had to go through years of ridicule during CCD classes. Well, your in for a treat freshman. You haven’t even come yet, but I already hate your guts. ---- TOP OF PAGE
5:03 PM
Nick Jonas ![]() Fact: I think you're great, but you're not that special I wonder what's so special about Nick Jonas and his damn diabetes. Yes, I'm a fan. Yes, I love him. But why is everyone making such a big deal about him being diabetic. Yes, I understand this is a horrible disease, and yes I know we all care about his health. But what is it may I ask that makes him so special? Sure he's a pretty face, and sure he has musical talent [in my opinion anyway]. I like songs by the Jonas Brothers, but I can tell you that you won't see me fawning over them at a concert, trying to kiss them, chasing after their cars, commenting them on myspace, or chaining myself to the fence outside their home. Lately there's been wayy too much drama over this boy and his disease. There have been forums wishing he died of his illness and others calling him a hero. I wouldn't consider him my hero because he got a disease and wrote a song about it. Really, I don't give. Personally, I hate the song A Little Bit Longer. Condemn me for saying this but don't get me wrong, I'm borderline obsessed with these boys. But really, I've listened to the song many many times, but there's something about it that I don't like. I know it's not the lyrics, its just something else. Whenever it comes on, I just change the station or change the song. Multiple members of my family suffer from the disease, but they're prefectly fine. They don't need any pity. If I had a deadly disease I wouldn't want any pity. I don't think I'd be crying on stage, and I wouldn't write a song about it. But that's my personality. I'd move on and live everyday like I normally would. Diabetes isn't a deadly disease. Sure you may die from it, but truthfully, most don't. I used to know a diabetic girl, her name was Steph, and she was one of the coolest people you would ever meet. She was an amazing dancer and was always one her feet. And you know what? She's perfectly fine with her hectic life style, she isn't dead, and she isn't suffering. And to the haters hoping he dies: get a freaking life. If you're going to spend your life trying to get videos off of their youtube, hack thier stuff and whatnot, then that means you really have no life at all. Get over yourselves, everyone has haters, and you're wasting time doing shit. Meh, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Thursday, August 28, 20083:36 PM
Fame So in recent news that you all may not know yet, since it just happened; my sister is auditioning for a Disney Channel show featuring the Jonas Brothers. Of course I'm happy for her. I was the one that found out and told her about it because it would be perfect for her. I don't expect her to get the part, no, thousands of other girls would be auditioning. But I'd be happy for her. Frankly, recently she and I have gotten closer, and I want the best for her. My other sister, not so much. I've even tried to convince aforementioned 'almost famous' sister to come to my private high school with me because I didn't want her to waste her life away at the public school. She wanted to come with me before, but then that stupid 'dress code reformation' came in, she changed her mind. I mean, she's very stylish, but I think she'd do well at my school. Sure she'd do well at the crappy public school, but still. I just want whats best for her. I'd be estatic for her is she got the part. But you know, I'd love to have that role too. I mean the Jonas Brothers! Who doesn't love them. Shut up Kevin, I know you hate them. But you know, I'd love a role for anything you know. I think it'd be cool to be on tv, to be famous. But I highly doubt it's going to happen with me. My sister says I should audition for a part on something else, she says I'm 'kinda-pretty' and 'okay' and I'm 'good at singing'. Lol, I'm alright I guess. We saw open calls for 'Camp Rock 2' and she said I should definately do it. I probably can't get a good part in the school musical, let alone even bother auditioning for anything. I can admit that my self esteem has gotten a lot better over the years. That definately reminds me of that dumb questionaire we had to fill in yesterday, and one of the questions was 'rate your self esteem from 1-10, ten being the highest'. And my best friend put ten. It was hilarious. But thats that for now. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Tuesday, August 19, 20081:10 AM
Dress code ![]() Hey call me a rebel, but that's what I think. Just today I recieved the clarifications on the dress code in the mail because we were too lazy to get the mail earlier. So, since I'm a girl, I'll give you what is for me, and my comments. Solid color blouses: Full button down the front (no polo/golf shirts); in general, I find polos on most females hideous, unless of course you're playing tennis, during this time its completely acceptable Long enough to be tucked in (no midriff exposed); yeah, like anyone can find a solid colored blouse like that Solid color skirts: Appropriate in length-no more than 2" above knee; where can you find a skirt like that nowadays? No slits Comfortable/loose fitting; umm ftw? So they have to be uncomfortable now, I see.. Solid color slacks: Dress slacks- NO jeans, NO CAPRI PANTS OT SHORTS; you can't say 'denim'? Gauchos and split skirts are allowed but not capris; wait, I thought you just said no skirts with slits? NO CARGO PANTS; seriously? You'd look like an idiot in these and a blouse Shoes: NO sandals, open toes, or backless shoes-NO HIGH HEELS; what is your classification of 'high heels' and how high do these have to be? NO sneakers, NO boots, NO slippers; umm then wtf are we supposed to wear? General: NO VISIBLE BODY PIERCING NO VISIBLE TATOOS NO EXTREME HAIRSTYLES I find all these new rules totally un-needed. Except for that polo one, it makes me angry when people show up with polos on. And the other thing I really despise is that skirt length rule, yeah there are skanks walking around with skirts on that barely cover their butt, but two inches seriously? Can't we just go with the general mid-thigh rule? And besides, I think it's quite stupid of them to send this notice out now while most people have already done their back to school shopping. Inconvienent idiots. My whole family would be in trouble with the rules now. I mean, everyone's tattooed. Not in the way that you would think though. Every female, including my mother and even my grandmother's have permenant asian make up tattoos. You may have noticed it on some women where their eyebrows are tattooed on. The other is to have eye lashes or your eyeliner tattooed on. Most of my family has it as eyeliner, but I can tell you of a few with the full on eyebrows. Must have been pretty painful. Hey. I might even have it, you never know. I might even be more painful heading back to school and getting a detention on the first day for some minor 'violation'. Meh, dumb rules. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Thursday, August 14, 20084:27 PM
Sailor mouth ![]() How dare you! How freaking dare you!
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11:03 AM
My face hurts ![]() Yeah, it does. Lately my cheeks have been bugging me. I don't know why. Like you know that feeling where you try to blow up a balloon? Yeah, that's how my cheeks feel, they're sore, but I don't know why. Maybe I smile too much. And once again, more headaches ravage me. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Wednesday, August 13, 20089:38 AM
Rude Phone Calls ![]() You know lady, you better not set foot in front of my face again. Because you're a coward hiding behind a blocked number, and a rude bitch. Yeah, that right, usually I hold my anger enough as to not curse someone out online, but today, you get to be a special exception. Next time don’t hide behind a blocked number, next time, bitch, come and say that to my face and hope you don’t get cussed out in multiple languages by a minor. Heh, you really angered me lady. All I’m doing is my stupid job. I’m picking up the phone and answering your questions. So you ask me how much a color and a cut is. I answer your damn question. And then you go onto say “Well, this might be rude of me to say, but the past three times I called, you’ve given me different answers. The first time you said –insert-. The second time you said –insert- and the third time you said –insert-. And now you’re telling me this?! Yesterday my girlfriend went there for a color and a cut and it cost her ninety dollars because she kept saying ‘it’s going to be extra for this, and extra for this and this’. I’m absolutely disgusted –blahblahblah- You better get your prices together, because I don’t think I’m ever coming back here, and neither is my girlfriend because this is just outrageous.” And then, you hung up. I try to get you to talk to my manager but noooo, you just keep ranting. You’re lucky I’m not rude and didn’t hang up on you, because I totally should have. And that girlfriend of yours? Bitch, she was fucking happy as hell yesterday after she got her hair done. She happily handed me her freaking hunk of plastic of a credit card. So, greatly irked by your rudeness, I told my manager, my father. And he told me just to be kind and ask you to come in and talk to the manager if you ever call again. And that’s what I tried to do, but you kept interrupting me. I think I want to curse you to hell for the moment. I hope you burn in the firey depths along with whoever has done me wrong. And I can’t forgive you because I don’t know who you are. For the moment I don’t want to forgive you. Maybe this seems out of the line, but I curse your whole family at this moment in time. My anger will subside soon, but for the moment, you’re burning in hell. I’m not God, so it won’t be exactly confirmed down there. But remember, you can’t get into heaven unless you’re ‘pure’. So bitch, you better not ever cross my path, because if you do, you're in a world of trouble, and if you ever want to verbally attack someone, attack someone else alright because I could get you in a load of trouble for harassment. So what if I'm a scornful teen. Learn some manners bitch. Thank you, and come again. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Tuesday, August 12, 20082:21 PM
Chinese Lies and Fashion ![]() Yep, once again, another China scandal. This one I feel acutal pity for though. We've all heard about the fake fireworks, but China was able to buy that off with the excuse of 'the safety of the people'. Then there's the controversy with the underage gymnasts. Okay, so the fact of the matter is that the smaller and the shorter a person is, the more agile they are, and the less risk they have to major injury. But they're putting girls out there that are three years younger than I am! I mean, okay theres the pride, and the fact that its amazing to be in the Olympics at that age. But the lastest Eastern Scandal is the adorable little girl in the red dress that sang their national anthem. She was quite good in some language that we couldn't understand, but we could still grasp the beauty of the song. Turns out, that little girl was lipsynching to another little girl. And the reason they did this was because the other little girl wasn't pretty enough with her chubby cheeks and crooked teeth. This was all in the latest attempt to create the perfect opening to a 'perfect' country. China's just way too overly obsessed with their image. And it's quest even includes the children. I know no one's perfect, by why should you do that to children? That's just somewhat demeaning, and shattering to a young kid if you tell her shes not pretty enough. Wanna read the story yourself? [here and here] ---- TOP OF PAGE
1:30 PM
Propane go boom ![]() Fact: Propane go boom
Before I get to my first topic, lets just say I've been ravaged with headaches lately. I literally have a migraine every single day. They've been getting so bad I just want to pop a gun to the side of my head. It's just like this feeling that takes over my whole head and pulsates with pain and puts me in a fog. The annoying ring of the phone makes me wanna tear my hair out, and everyone's talking so loudly. I feel like I'm gonna black out. Now onto the real topic. The Toronto Propane explosion. So KevJumba and Sxephil were both in Toronto and caught footage of it becuase they were in their hotel room. I'm glad everyone's alright, but I feel bad for the firefighter that had passed. But I'm glad my favorite youtubers are alright. Lol, I mean, what would the world-wide community do without them? Want the article? [here] ---- TOP OF PAGE
Saturday, August 9, 20084:17 PM
Headaches and Drama ![]() So, once again, the day has started and I've already had a good dose of drama and online cat-fights. So, on this website I go on, this morning there was a forum about this girl 'Laney.' Here's what it said: I know most people hate's Miley but then again most loves Nick Jonas :]! we know Miley dated Nick Jonas, but nobody knows the truth behind the breaking up of Niley. & that's why I'm going to tell you believe it or not. one word: [the girls screen-name, lol i'm not gonna give it to you] a young girl named Laney, she met Nick back in the 'Please Be Mine' day's at a concert, they clicked and talked before Laney left she wrote her cell phone number down an gave it to Nick. He called her but alway's blocked his number; & they became great friend's and both admitted to each other that they had feeling for each other but never dated. Once the whole Niley thing started Laney was upset and started ignoring Nicks call's, texts, ect. After thing's started getting rocky between Nick & Miley, Nick finally got a hold of Laney and they started flirting, Miley found out and it led to the end of Niley. Miley say's things got hard because they had to keep their relationship on the DL is the real reason but it's really isn't, she's porbably ashamed of losing Nick to a non-famous 16 yr old. Nick & Laney never dated, he led her on and now is pretty much dating Disneys Selena Gomez. I didnt believe any of this until I IMed laney she gave me proof, just thought Id share this info :] PICTURE PROOF COMING SOON! as soon as i get to a scanner Ill post pictures of Laney & Nick up! Lol, I find the whole dumb drama thing stupid. The girl had even posted a screenshot of the im conversation. And then the girl 'Laney' makes her own thread and posts this: (I looked at other threads and they are all fancy, but I don't really know how to make it look 'cool' so whatever) Hey guy's you may of recently seen a buddy4u about me, and how it's my fault Miley and Nick broke up. Well first I want to clear thing's up, That's my personal life, I'm not saying if it is or isn't true it's just not anyones buisness. Since last night Ive had over 500 IMs some saying they hate me, asking stuff about the boy's, but please don't it isn't fair to me. It's an invasion of privacy. Ive never been on this site until last night, and most likely never will come back on here again. I'm just asking you al to stop IMing me. Please. I reported the thread, and anyone who's seen it forget it. -Love Laney. BTW- it took me all day to report it and put this on share, someone who IMed me from this site helped me. Do it so shut up. What's with all the dumb girl drama? Isn't this what high school's for? Really, at this point I could really care less with all this dumb drama. But I have to admit I find it hilarious to read. I mean girls virtually tearing their hair out online, who doesn't want that? The internet has become a feeding ground for rumors and swirling gossip. I don't care about Miley, I think she's a whiny little brat that needs to get over herself and move on. Okay, he dumped you, get over it. If you've seen the little blips off of Perez Hilton's website. [here for the story] Nor do I really care for Laney. In my opinion, it's just this total scandal, and I really doubt she exsists and anything really happened. That's what I believe, you guys just think what you want. Well, that's all for now. I'm just rushing because I wanted to get this out to you because the whole thing just seems funny how such things get elevated in such a manner. Huh, I'm ROFLing because teenage girls are stupid online. Even though I am one, I have at least some common sense. Urgh, I have a headache now. ---- TOP OF PAGE
9:18 AM
Olympics and American Government ![]() Last night, like millions of other Americans I watched the opening ceremony to the Olympics. I have to admit that China did an amazing job, even due to the on-going controversy about rejecting American atheletes and free press. A week ago, I'd be ranting about how unfair it was, but even though the countries out of whack, I have to admit, the show was brilliant. Dude, I liked it so much, I even recorded it so I could watch it again. I'm excited and proud for the US team. Right now Woman's indoor volleyball is on. The US team is up against Japan, and I hope we cream them to put it bluntly. I always have a tradition of watching the Olympics. I don't watch everything, I just watch what happens to be on. Even when I'm in Vietnam I still watch them. Lol, we need to show the world who's the world power. So yesterday, there was news about Russia invading Georgia. I know that's a horrible thing, and I find myeslf worrying about them, even though I don't know them at all; but I do know that they are a big US ally. But there goes America going how we'll be going over there to help them, which is good. But I think our government is butting it's head into business that's not its own. We were talking about this months ago in Wes Civ class. The US is a large world power, and I believe that we are the police of the world, but the thing is, it should be done to a certain degree. Sure, I supported the Iraq war when it first began, but god, I was in elementary school back then. Now, I just have a burning hatred for it. It's not like I want the war to burn in hell, no, because my hatred isn't that great, and a war cannot burn in hell. I just believe now, that it is not right. So a group of women that I know quite well were having a discussion today, about how China was planning on buying major US companies, and eventually taking over our economy. I mean, I don't like the fact that China would be the same thing England was before 1772, but our economy is in the gutter. My mother was talking about how back in the 'olden days' when you did something wrong, they would just kill you mercilessly. And not to mention, they would kill a whole chunk of your family along with you. Like for example, three generations. That way, there was almost no way of seeking revenge. I found the idea gut wrenching and sick. But that's just me. It's all opression. I'm not excited for the presidental election this year, I just want Bush out. Personally, I favored Obama, but lately, I'm not even sure anymore. As long as they can fix this faltering economy, end the war, fix our education system. I feel like all the things political analysts talk about on thier little debates is crap; the election is not centered on what you believe, it's about the canidates running and not your over-analyzed babble. That's just how I feel today because it's just annoying to hear this morning. I'm sure I'll feel different about it later. It kinda bugs me knowing that I live in a country where the education system's just going downhill. I mean Indian people have 28% of the smartest people in the world, and China 25%. I mean, the whole thing about not pushing our kids hard enough in public schools in just making America seem stupid in the eyes of the world, and I thinks its all due to Bush and how lax we have become. Our country's going down hill, but our waistlines get larger. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. But I really don't feel like ranting more about this, so we can leave this off for another time. So my morning started off okay. I was woken up by my mom from an amazing dream, and I walked down to wake up Nancy since Cindy had already left for her interview. She didn't get up, and I ended up getting changed and going through the morning routine. I went to work and Nancy was just being a moody brat and I handed her her bagel from Dunkin Donuts, and she took it but decided delibrately to hold the wrapping by the corner. Thus it fell to the ground. She hollered my name and yelled at me. Hey, it wasn't my fault. Eventually I headed to work, and the second customer that came in today was quite the bloody annoying woman. Not to say that she was literally 'bloody' just and annoying and unfriendly #$%^^ of a client. She complained about how her name wasn't down at 9 for an appointment with my father. He wasn't even in today, and she even went as far to show me her call log and tell me that she did call on the seventh to set a time on Saturday. I really didn't like dealing with her. She made a big fuss about next time having to ask for the persons name next time she calls. Urgh, what a #$!^*. She needs to get over herself and learn some courtesy. She just wouldn't shut up, and I hope something of inconvience happens to her today. Not about death or whatever, maybe just a stub of the toe on a carpet or something. Well, I'm angry at the Chinese again. Another sigh. So there was a supposedly 'random' attack today. This Chinese man stabbed a US man to death and tried to kill his companion and their Chinese tourguide. Random attacks are rare in Beijing, and the attacker eventually ran up to the second floor of quite a tall building and committed suicide by jumping off. This angered me quite a bit because for the moment they can't tell if the murdered man was a member of the team, a member of the US Olypmpic delagate, or a tourist. But I mean seriously, the world has had to endure so much crap from China, we couldn't have at least some security? I mean, we already lost two amazing gymnasts in injuries already. I have to say the most inspiring Olympians are Derek Redmond and Michelle Kwan. We don't need to go int detail about Michelle, but let's talk about Derek. Here's a little blip from his Wiki article: At the 1991 World Championships Redmond was a member of the British team which shocked the athletics world by beating the much-favoured American team into second place to claim the gold medal in the 4x400 metres relay. Injuries had consistently interrupted Redmond's career. At the 1988 Olympic Games in Seoul, he pulled out of the opening round of the 400 metres 90 seconds before his heat was due to begin due to a hamstring problem. Prior to the 1992 Olympics, he had undergone eight operations due to injuries. However he seemed to be in good form heading into the Olympics in Barcelona. He posted the fastest time of the first round, and went on to win his quarter-final. In the semi-final, Redmond started well, but in the back straight about 250 metres from the finish, his hamstring snapped. He hobbled to a halt, and then fell to the ground in pain. Stretcher bearers made their way over to him, but Redmond decided he wanted to finish the race. He began to hobble along the track, with pain etched upon his face. He was soon joined on the track by his father, Jim Redmond, who barged past security and on to the track to get to his son. Jim and Derek completed the lap of the track together, with Derek leaning on his father's shoulder for support. As they crossed the finish line, the 65,000 crowd rose to give Derek a standing ovation. However as his father had helped him finish, Derek was officially disqualified and Olympic records state that he "Did Not Finish" the race. But in the public's perception, he had finished and done so heroically. His story is depressing and inspiring. You may recognize him from this Visa commerical. I swear whenever it comes on I feel like I'm about to cry. [click] And here's a comedic Jackie Chan commerical [click] But that's all for now. Congrats for making it all the way to the end. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Monday, August 4, 200811:56 PM
expecting ![]() Fact: I wasn't really expecting you.. Truthfully, I really wasn't expecting you to come and help me. Really, you were one of the least I would think. I was guessing I'd handle it all on my own, or just hold it in until I was torn away at the seams. I haven't talked to you in a while, but I was relieved when that im popped up. It was comforting to talk to you, but I have to admit, long ago when we first met, I found you somewhat annoying. I avoided you at times because I just didn't want to deal with our personality. But since then, you're much different, some one much more real, I guess I can say. I'm happy we still have our weekly conversations. I find comfort in them. But in no way do I have romantic feelings for you. Lol, you even told me not to. But you have nothing to worry about. I never really felt like that towards you, platonic shall I say. I think I might be pulling myself out of the game anyway. It's not anyone's fault. I just feel like I'd rather concentrate on the stuff I care about now and think of love and romantics later. And besides, the one I'm looking for probably doesn't exsist. I've just stopped caring at this epoch. But thank you. You're a good friend, and a good listener. Tonight, I don't know what I'd do without you, but thank you. I'll keep your words to heart, and I wish you luck on your training tomorrow.. ---- TOP OF PAGE
11:10 PM
Frustrated
Fact: I'm frustrated with you ![]() If you can't already tell, I'm quite aggravated with you. Actually, I'm so angry, I want to cuss you out to hell and back. But really, I can't do that now. I can't say it to your face because it's &!$*ing 'disrespectul'. Well, why don't you show me some respect, when I give you yours every single day?! When you talk or scold me, I shut my trap and listen. I don't defend myself in any way, I freaking listen. So why can't you do the same? Oh that's right, I'm not allowed to defend myself, I'm not allowed to talk back or anything? So what am I to do? Recede into the corner? That's probably what you want isn't it? Well, you're sure as hell not getting that from me. You have no right to call me 'stupid' over and over, laughing, while you're the one that didn't go to college. Want to know why? Because you got yourself knocked up and got a shotgun wedding. I'm not stupid. I've known that I was an accident since the third grade. Because wanna know how? I did the !#$%ing math. You're such a hypocrite, telling me not to have sex before marriage, when you only got married because you were pregnant. Why would I anyway? I find the whole act stupid and beastly. Sure it's fun to laugh about, but that's because I'm ignorant and I dont want to ^%*# up my life like you did yours. I'll remain a virgin for the rest of my life because really, I don't care. If you hate this man and think he's stupid as much as you say, then why did you sleep with him? He didn't rape you. The feeling was mutual. Really, I don't give that I wouldn't be here if you didn't because then I wouldn't need to go through all this crap with you. I would never need to see you, or him. You don't really know how to raise kids. There. I said it. Look at me, I think you did a down right horrid job. You taught us to follow the rules by breaking us down. And look at yourselves, did you ever follow any rules? I didn't think so. You taught us not to cry. Can you see me now? I have tears streaming down my face because of you. I really hate you right now, but I know I'm gonna get over it and talk to you as if nothing happened tomorrow morning. You know why? Because I forgive, something you didn't learn in that third world country of yours. You timed us to see how fast we ate, and if we didn't finish breakfast in ten minutes, we were screamed at. That's just sick and wrong. You threatened to kick out my sister because she brought home a B-. Oh, a correction, you did kick her out for a night because she did. You lecture me for hours for things I do wrong. Why hasn't anyone lectured you yet? I know whenever we go and visit, the family looks down on you because of your stupid mistake. But they have enough respect for you to not say anything. Then where's mine? You don't show up at anything, nothing I do is ever good enough for you. You forced me to watch that dumb spelling bee to show me how 'stupid' I was. Then how come you aren't up there ranting letters out like the rest of the asian kids? Heh, what have you ever done that's been absolutely amazing? I see no plaques, or any certificates of anything. So you accuse my of running up the phone bill when I haven't even turned the damn thing on in forever. And you force me to pay you back for it. There, one hundred, thirty nine dollars and sixty-four cents. Are you happy? It's right there in the palm of your hand. And then you proceed to laugh and scream at how stupid and foolish I was, and how I'm stupid like my 'stupid' father. I'm half of you, that make you stupid too doesn't it? If I'm the fool, then what are you? ---- TOP OF PAGE
Sunday, August 3, 20087:02 PM
Pics or it didn't happen! ![]() Fact: I say 'pics or it didn't happen' all the time because of my old GDer days. So today I had been shaken awake early so we could go down to New Jersey and go on a Six Flags Safari. It took us 3 hours and 56 minutes to get there, and on the way, I had myself a strawberry coolata without whip cream, whip cream is just plain nasty, a glaze donut, and six boxes of orange tic tacs. Then I started flipping out because my sisters began telling me a story about a girl who can only eat tic tacs because she ate so many, her body began to reject other food. And besides, orange tic tacs are the best ones. Once we finally got there, my dad missed the correct entrance, just cause thats him. He couldn't say 'safari', instead it came out as 'ferrari'. And today, just today, for some odd reason, he decided to wear a leather cowboy hat, and big aviator sunglasses. The whole time I was thinking 'Cowboy Troy'. Sleeping in my father's truck was extremely uncomfortable, so I brought a pillow, and a couple books to keep me busy. I didn't end up reading the books until the trip back. I enjoyed the safari, but I got quite angry because of this stupid mexican family had rolled down the window and began having a giraffe lick thier hands. This greatly angered me because you were not supposed to roll down the windows and touch the animals. I hate people who don't follow the rules. It just really irks me. We ended up petting an obese rabbit that weighed 44 pounds by the name of Bell, and a kinkaju names Jumju. It was soo adorable, I had to go and buy a kinkaju stuffed animal and postcard. After, we decided to stop by New York City, again, and get some lunch. We've been to the city a lot lately for some reason, five times in the past three weeks. I have to say I quite enjoy the city, but my sisters were getting fussy because all we were doing was hanging out in Chinatown. ![]() I bought a few cute acessories from my favorite store, and pretty much helped carry bags the whole rest of the time. But I did see this amazing necklace. You know those jade bracelets I always have on my arm? Well, it was a red string choker with pink, yellow, white and green jade on it making leaves and flowers. It was so gorgeous, but my mother wouldn't let me get it. I'll try to pick it up next time I go then if it's still in the shop window. Chinatown's an interesting place. I like listening to all the different speech swirl around me. It's just really cool to figure out what everyone's saying. And I noticed today that when you're fat and in Chinatown, people treat you like crap. There was this really funny instance where this American woman wasn't paying attention and was almost mowed over by a cart, but yeah. I felt really bad for this old african woman who was selling cinnamon and no one was buying any. It was just pity I guess, and the whole time she was mouthing something quitely to herself, and I just felt really really bad. And then we saw three people we knew all in the same amount of time. We ended up clogging up the area for a little while talking. We saw one of the owners of the chinese buffet next door, and two of my mom's friends. The odd thing though was there was this woman walking around in just a bathing suit with her fully clothed family. It was odd because she wasn't even pretty. As we were leaving, I saw one of those things, where the artist paints your name with a picture, and I was really surprised because they now had a Jonas brothers background, and I wanted to get my name written in it. I know, quite exciting lol. But I already have one. It's sitting in the basement though, and there's a really nice painted dragon on it. I really don't have a place to put it though.. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Saturday, August 2, 200810:18 AM
I'm glad you're back ![]() Fact: I'm glad you're back It's been a while since you reprimanded me. Lol, I missed you. I mean, you're my bestest buddy and we have barely been able to spend time with each other since well, before I left for my trip. I can't wait to hang out with you again. But I have to wait since you have a few things to clear up since your coming back from vacation. ---- TOP OF PAGE
Friday, August 1, 20081:19 PM
fact: i looked in the obituaries ![]() Fact: I looked in the obituaries today for your name Yeah, it's true I did. I don't do it often, but today I did. I hope one day soon I'll find your name in that Times New Roman font. Why you ask am I so scornful? No, I'm not scornful. I just hope you burn in the firey depths of hell. The only reason this is so is because you screwed me over. I'm not the only person that thinks this. I can name at least ten people off the top of my head that want you dead. No, we won't try anything; that would be horrible! We just greatly dislike you for what you've done to us all. From the outside you seem like a nice enough person, but once we get past that veneer, your selfish and horendous. I wonder how you have friends. They're just your slaves aren't they? Well, more power to you. ---- |
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